Sunday, February 16, 2014


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E/N/C The Sun Classified Page 17


 DEARABBY: My
husband and I have been
married for three years. I
trust him with my whole
heart. He is the sweetest
man I know. Lately, I
have been wanting to
know more about his
brother. My husband
hasn't said much about
him other than he was
murdered in prison
about 10 years ago.
 I'm not saying that he
and his family are lying,
but I did some research
on the Web and came
across multiple websites
about my husband's
brother. Yes, he was in
prison, but I'm not sure
he was actually mur-
dered there. Some details
are better left unsaid.
 I know, of course,
that you can't believe
everything you read
on the Internet, but
there is more than one
Google page with a lot of
information.
 I want to talk to my
husband and find out
what really happened
and try to get to know
his brother, but I'm
scared he will get angry
and even shut me out,
and I don't want that to
happen. Please give me
some advice on what
to do. I just want some
straight answers no
more sweeping it under
the carpet. IN THE
DARK IN OHIO
 DEAR IN THE DARK:
There is always a risk
when someone goes
poking around the
family closet and starts
rattling the skeletons.
I suggest you be frank
with your husband. Tell
him you were curious
about his brother, went
on the Internet, found
some surprising infor-
mation and would like


 DearAbby

some honest answers. If
you trust him with your
whole heart, then his
response will tell you all
you need to know.
 DEARABBY: I am a
widow with five daugh-
ters. The youngest is 8,
and the others are in
their late teens and early
20s. I am self-employed,
work from home and
very involved in my kids'
lives.
 I have a boyfriend I
have been seeing for the
last 18 months. I spend
the night with him two
or three times a month,
which involves less than
a 24-hour stay.
 I would like to have an
extended weekend or a
short vacation with him,
but he is balking. He
says I shouldn't be away
from my baby that long.
He grew up with a very
distant mother and had
an unhappy childhood.
My daughter spends a
lot of time with me, but
still enjoys her "sister
time."
 How can I get him to
realize that my being
away for a few days
would recharge me and
make me a better mom?
-BADLY IN NEED OF A
BREAK
 DEAR BADLY IN
NEED: If you haven't al-
ready pointed out to this
man that his childhood
was far different than the


 DEAR ABBY


 Curious wife seeks truth


about a mysterious death


one you have provided
for your children, then
you should.
 I am somewhat con-
cerned that he is giving
you parenting advice,
since nowhere in your
letter did you mention
that he has any children.
It occurs to me that
he may have his own
reasons for not spending
more time with you than
he does, and if I'm right,
you need to get to the
bottom of what they are
-because I don't think
he's giving you the whole
story.
 DEAR ABBY: My
husband goes into a
tirade if anyone has a
taste of food or a bread
roll before a meal is
properly served. He goes
off on everyone even
a child who has had to
wait because the meal is
late or they just love light
rolls.
 We have great respect
for your answers. He
threatened to write you,
so I called his bluff.
What do you think about
this? -LOSING MY
APPETITE IN VIRGINIA
 DEAR LOSING: I
think your husband
appears to be excessively
controlling. For him to
expect hungry people
to sit at a table with
food and not partake of
it is unrealistic, unless
it's a formal dinner
party. Children should
be taught proper table
manners, but to force a
hungry child to sit at a
table with bread on it for
fear of a tirade is, in my
opinion, abusive.
 People sometimes
overreact the way your
husband does because
they have low blood
sugar. Could this be his
problem?


 DEAR PRUDENCE: I am
a twentysomethiing who
has been working for a
nonprofit less than a year.
"Mary" has been working
for the organization for five
years and is considered a
star. She's just a few years
older than I am. Recently,
I was given project work
with her. Oversights are
treated as if I am lacking
in general common
sense. When I make slight
oversights she rolls her
eyes and speaks to me
in a patronizing manner.
Finally, she came over to
my desk, asked me to open
up one of the documents
I had been working on,
leaned over and proceeded
to ask me condescending
questions. I have a lot
of work left to do with
her, and I'm dreading it.
It reminds me of being
bullied in high school. Am
I being overly sensitive?
Should I talk to my boss?
Should I address the issue
with her directly? If so,
how? Intimidated
 DEAR INTIMIDATED:
First of all, review the
things you might have
done that have Mary
rolling her eyes and talking
to you as if you're an idiot.
It could be that Mary has
long enjoyed being the
office's young star, and
she's not interested in
sharing the attention. Sit
down with her and tell her
that you appreciate her
superior knowledge about
your workplace, and that
you want to do a great
job. Explain that the way
you learn best is to have
problems pointed out early
and directly. Don't go to
your boss because then
you'll make everyone think
that emotionally you never
really left. Prudie
 DEAR PRUDENCE:
My husband achieved
professional success
and wealth early in life.
His work involved long


 Test copy
 Dear Heloise: When I
go to the doctor for tests
or blood work, I ask for
a copy of the results.
It's good to have a copy
for your records, and it
comes in handy when
going to a new doctor or
specialist. I bring a copy
of my last tests for them.
- K.E. in Maryland

 Easy fix
 Dear Heloise: When
a screw falls out of your
eyeglasses, grab the wire
tie from a bread bag.
Strip off the paper so
only the wire remains,
and thread it through the
hole in the glasses. This
will hold it until you have
time for a more perma-
nent solution. -Aaron
K. in Indiana

 Toilet turmoil
 Dear Heloise: My son
decided to throw one
of his bath toys in the


Hints from Heloise


toilet one evening. Now
we use only large toys
in the bath. Even if you
keep the toilet lid closed,
for safe measure, toys
that are not able to be
flushed by mischievous
kids should be the only
toys in the bathroom.
It would have saved my
husband and me lots of
money and headaches.
- Penny in Florida

 Bag storage
 Dear Heloise: I save
my plastic cleaning-wipe
containers and store my
produce bags in them.


It's very convenient, and
the area under my sink
is much more organized.
- Samantha K., via
email

Sausage wrapper
 Dear Heloise: When I
buy sausage that comes
in a roll, I freeze it. When
it's frozen, it doesn't leave
a lot of sausage stuck
to the wrapper when
you cut it off. You must
be careful, because it's
slippery. Gloria in
Kansas

 Easy close
 Dear Heloise: It's
frustrating trying to open
bread ties. When I get the
wire unwound, I replace
it with a clothespin. No
more twisting and unty-
ing. Pat M. in Florida

 Ground meat
 Dear Heloise: I use a
heavy meat-tenderizing
tool (the type with cleats)


to break up ground
beef or sausage being
browned for chili or
meat sauce. Ruth B. in
Kansas

 Awful odor
 Dear Heloise: After a
bait bucket tipped over
on the front floor of our
new car, I scrubbed the
carpeting numerous
times, unsuccessfully.
Our postman suggested
putting charcoal bri-
quettes in a dish, and
voila! The odor is gone.
-Jane S., Rochester,
N.Y.

 Keep fastened
 Dear Heloise: To
keep clothes from being
damaged in the washing
machine, fasten the
hooks on bras. This keeps
them from hooking onto
other garments. Better
yet, place them in a lin-
gerie bag, but still keep
those hooks fastened!
- Sue M. in Ohio


 JUMBLE

 T THAT SCRAMBLED WORD GAME
 Sil i by David L Hoyt and Jeff Knurek
Unscramble these six Jumbles,
one letter to each square, The best way to block out
to form six ordinary words. T plh n id. |
TDIRHAS ihat'usle me.
|DIRHAS I |/^^^


 \ I hope I can be
 SI' n as good.

 t/













 HAP--

Now arrange the circled letters
"1.11 .--^e", i"






to form the surprise answer, as

suggested by thOOIe PLabove cartoon.
WOULIP t REPIACBINGT
RET1RNG6 N&A 5UPER5TAR,

Now arrange the circled letters
to form the surprise answer, as
suggested by the above cartoon.


 PRINT YOUR ANSWER IN THE CIRCLES BELOW

E E a]


 L47f



 Dear Prudence

hours and lots of stress,
and by his 30s he decided
that he wanted out. His
accumulated wealth
could easily support our
lifestyle indefinitely, so he
retired about 18 months
ago, shortly after the birth
of our first child. He has
not found anything to do
in that time! We have an
excellent nanny 40 hours
a week, and outside those
hours my husband is an
extremely involved father.
We split the domestic du-
ties roughly 50/50 but now
I am the only one working
and he says he shouldn't
be "penalized" by having
extra domestic responsi-
bilities. So he spends the
week hanging out (gym,
squash, books, movies,
etc.). It's making me crazy
with resentment, especial-
ly when I come home from
a hard day at work. He
tells me I should just quit
if I don't like it, and that
I shouldn't worry about
being dependent because
he's set up a trust fund for
me and our son. But I also
think it sets a bad example
for our son to see a father
who doesn't have some
productive purpose in life.
My husband disagrees. He
says he doesn't care if our
son grows up to work hard
and that work is a lamen-
table necessity and it is
only "false consciousness"
to think otherwise. I'm
tired of this devolving into
a sociological debate! How
can we resolve this? Do
Something


DEAR PRUDENCE


Nitpiking superior
Nitpicking superior


HELOISE


- I


ROIDON


HIPSOB


ALIHEN


COLLEA


 DEAR DO: Whatever
your husband did for a
living, he must have been
pretty good at it if he can
finance the next 50 years
of high-end hanging out
without ever having to
earn another cent. Your
husband is entitled to feel
he deserves a sabbatical.
But while many self-made
people do indulge in the
luxuries great wealth
brings, often they continue
to be driven to make a
mark. I can understand
that it would be irritating
to have a life partner
who contemplates the
rest of life as one long
Margaritaville.
 The other problem is
your resentment. Stop
making your husband's
yammering about the
oppression of having a
job sound correct. If you
enjoy your career and
want to go at it full bore,
then do so. He may not
acknowledge the irony
that in order for him to
pursue his freedom from
work, he needs to employ
someone to change his
son's diapers. But since
you do pay someone to
do this, stop insisting your
husband take on these
duties during the nanny's
work week. You are having
a difficult time accepting
that the hard-working
man you married has been
newly minted as a man of
leisure. Start having some
gentle and genuine talks
about what you both want
out of life. Tell him you
think of him as so accom-
plished and productive
that when he's done
unwinding, you hope a
cause of some kind en-
gages his attention. Given
your family's resources
and smarts, surely there's
something the two of you
could work on together to
make your community,
even the world, a better
place. Prudie