Out of Closet Everyone Knows You're In There
By PHIL JACOBS
Copyright Baltimore Jeuish Times
Special Publication Rights Reserved
"I was the company-
drinker," said David,
nervously flicking a
cigarette. "But somehow I
went from company drinker
to company drunk. I was
doing so well for the
company that no one ever
came to me and asked me to
stop. And as long as I was
doing well, how could I be
an alcoholic? Besides, I'm
Jewish."
"I was in the closet for 14 years
with my drinking." explained
Sharon, a stylishly dressed
professional. "But I was Phi Beta
Kappa, honors all the way. I'm
just glad people were polite when
I'd wear two different colored
shoes to class, or when I wrote a
test in hieroglyphics."
Then there are the stories
about surgeons who blacked out
during surgery, failing to
remember what they had just
done in the operating room.
There's the man who constantly
worked his garden, pulling weeds
and drawing liquor from a straw
that reached into a buried bottle.
Everyday people. Mothers who
drive carpool. professionals who
fill your cavities or draw up your
will. They're your next door
neighbor, your best friend, your
relative.
THEY ARE doubly chosen -
not only are they alcoholics but
they're Jewish alcoholics, a
stigma that might be keeping
thousands from seeking help. But
they've been told all their lives
that Jews don't drink. That it's a
disgrace, a shanda, for Jews to
drink too much. The stigma and
guilt have, according to the
experts, done more harm than
good to Jewish society.
Alcoholism, the third biggest
killer in the U.S., is a genetically
related disease that is curable. It
has nothing to do with social
upbringing or culture. It's a
sickness. And until more Jews
come out of their deadly closet,
chances are good they'll
figuratively hang themselves,
their families and their careers.
The following stories are true.
They happened to local people in
an average Jewish community
who agreed to meet with the
offices of the Jewish Alcohol and
Drug Abuse Service. Names and
identities have been changed for
obvious reasons.
"There are so many women out
there who are like me," says
Debbie, who talks as if she's been
your best friend for years. "I
used to help my husband with his
business. I'd drink a little before
and after dinner. I really didn't
think I had a problem. My in-
tellect told me that Jews didn't
drink, they weren't alcoholics, so
why worry?
"But I knew how to drink, and
I liked it. It got to the point that
if went to a Bar Mitzvah or a
**'<
Alcoholism is a genetically^elated
disease that is clearly curable.
wedding, I'd leave early to come
home and finish up."
"Finishing up" meant drinking
herself into a stupor.
"The attitude out there is 'so
you drink a little bit, don't worry
about it.' "
DEBBIE WAS an active
Jewish charities volunteer even
while she drank.
Her drinking started to bottom
out after she was pulled over by a
county police officer and given a
warning. She said the next day
she went out to think over her
situation over cigarettes and
booze. She decided on her own to
stop drinking and get help.
"For any woman who goes out
for a three or four cocktail lunch
at the country club, well, she'd
better take a good look at herself.
Now I can go to a Bar Mitzvah or
a wedding, and I can spot the
alcoholics. It takes one to know
one."
Jewish f loridian
ol Palm Beach County
IMPSOHOM
Combining Ouf Voice end "Federation Reporter
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Executive Editor News Coordinator Assistant News Coordinator
, _;tober throuonMid Mi. BiWeefcivb
Second!
FREDK SMOCMET
Editor and Publisher tiecurive tailor ne*suooiamiior nssisiam net
Published Weekly October through Mid May Bi Weekly balance ol year
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Combined Jewish Appeal Jewish Federation ol Palm Beach County. Inc Ollicers
Myron J Nickman. Vice Presidents Peter Cummings
She has been sober now for 16
years.
"I DRANK for 23 years," says
Ben, a medical professional. "I
was involved in over 20 car ic-
cidents. I used to buy cough
syrup and drink it before I went
to work on patients. I've been
hospitalized with black outs for
up to five months at a time.
Finally. I had so much pain
inside of me that I couldn't deal
with it anymore. I 've heard some
people call it a spiritual ex-
perience, but what happened for
me was I basically went into
shock. I surrendered. I haven't
touched anything for seven
months. I believe strongly in
God, and I think he took me
away from my problem."
"My first real drink was at a
New Year's Eve party," says
Beth, another woman with a
lively personality. "I didn't want
to be an alcoholic. But from what
I've learned, it's just like any
other disease.
"I always dated older men,
because they could get me my
liquor. I drank my way through
college, using a lot of false
identification. I could drink all of
e^eSLES Py.date8 und;f the ^ even
had a guy call me a drunk. But
no, that wasn't me. I just did it
for 'fun.' "
BETH BOTTOMED out when
she received a driving-while-
intoxicated (DWI) summons for
"She exhibited violent
behavior," Tom said about his
alcoholic wife, Sharon. "I never
thought it was alcoholism. I
always figured it was just
depression. But one thing I did
~rn was that then.
IS001* f alcohoU
&**. clergy J"
workers, people you -
turn to. There's an fl-
the Jewish community.
"I used tocometoWoAl.
slip into the ladies rrjomul
drink," Sharon said "I J
pour Liquor into my Zi
bottles so nobody would b3
was abused as a child 13
live with the nightmare 7
mother. Only the wine Ji
wonderful place to eBCi ,"
abusive to my husband an
two children. And finally ]
shrink tell me that he
throw me out of his p
unless I did something about.
problem. He knew it
alcoholism. But I insist*)
wasn't, that I was rm_
depressed. I ate the pftfl
give me. I was also a prescnrj
drug addict.
"WHEN I went to my fimj
(Alcoholics Anonym*
meeting, it was really
Sharon said. The words _
wouldn't come out. Througkj
of my time on booze. I
never deal with my .
Instead of taking responsib
I took a drink. When
came to grips with
alcoholism, my older child.
very relieved. She said Ma,l
really happy that you're
alcoholic and you're not
Mommy wasn't off the
mommy was just looped.'1
"It bothered me that
talked to Jewish alcoholics, i
were openly disenchanted
Judaism," Tom said.
community and the
leaders have denied a pn
We're ignorant in this area..
the irony is that we've _
taken care of our own. Audi
also inconceivable how _
Jewish alcoholics there have 1
through the years. This is tail
recent phenomenon."
"I hated the pain and 11
the feelings," Sharon said.
had to take responsibility I
myself. I'm learning to beptti
and to enjoy life. I've never I
better. When I drank I could a
my way through anything. Nw
can look forward to life. I'nj
new person, my kids are
Continued on Page 16
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j Nickman. vice i-resioenis reier uummings. Alec Engelstem. Arnold Lampert Barbara SmaSIUng her car into a parked
Tanen and Alvir, Wilensky. Secretary Dr Elizabeth S Shulman Treasurer Barry Berg Submit Qae
material to Ronm Epstein. Director ol Public Relations. 501 South Flagier Or West Palm Beach
Jewish Floridian does not guarantee Kashruth of Merchandise Advertised Listen, 1 m a Jewish female, a
>TION RATES Local Area 14 Annual (2 Year Minimum $7 50). or by membership Jewish doctor S wife," she Said "I
iol Palm Beach Count, 501 S Flagier Or West Palm Beach Fia 33401 Phone 832-2120 _,_._ -_ --'- ..___ *
n ooon Reo..e.i wasn t an alcoholic I thought,
Friday. March*, 1965 '"g^S 'A^^^SS^SS.
Volume 11 Number13 but they're not alcoholics.'"
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